Gaining Weight After Marriage
July 6, 2007 § 15 Comments
I was walking down the hall at work today and I saw the janitor for our floor – we are on the 1st floor of the hospital, near the executive suite – the janitor, a very nice middle-aged man, asks me if I have been working out. Immediately, when he said this I knew what he meant. It wasn’t the real question that he wanted to ask but as I said he is a very nice man and was trying to be polite. So I replied that I had not been working out and in fact have gained a bit of weight. He goes on to admonish me about the gain – which is roughly about 10 lbs. and suggests that I do something about it before it is too hard to get off.
Obviously, he is comparing my physique to the one I had when I first started here back in 2001, nearly one year after I married my wife. This was when I still had free-time, no children, I took a year away from my studies and my wife was not as demanding as she is now. With all that extra time I was able to go to the Palladium (NYU recreation center) or the Parks nearby and play basketball; I swam a lot and I worked out in the weight room regularly at the job.
However, today there is a very different set of circumstances. I now have three children, my university studies, more responsibility at the job which means less time at home; which means less time for my wife; which means more demands on and from her; which mean less time for me. This has translated into virtually no time to exercise and as a result I have gained a few pounds.
Then I started to think about whether or not I would have allowed myself to gain weight if I were still single? Of course not. The entire point of looking good, and having good health when you are single, is to feel good about yourself, but of equal importance to attract a mate. That is when I had to take a moment to reflect. At first I didn’t think it was a big deal but now I am reconsidering that position. Especially after reading an article from the Cornell Chronicle that suggests,
“Once married, obese husbands are less happy with their marriages than other men, but men who have lost weight report fewer marital problems than obese or average-weight men or men who have gained weight during marriage.”
Now after several years of marriage and a heap of responsibility, I find it difficult to make extra-time to work on my body: endurance and strength development. But it is very important and I think that I am doing myself a disservice by ignoring this essential aspect of life. In fact, I think that with all of the added responsibility, it is probably even more important to be fit.