Marital Discord (Al-Nashuz)
May 16, 2006 § 4 Comments
One of the most painful life experiences is nushooz or marital discord. The kind of pain experienced during these moments of disunity are terrible enough to bring the strongest man to his knees and leave him crying like a baby. Currently, in the West marital discord, seperation and divorce are not the stigma of the old days but accepted and dealt with regularly. Although the husband and wife experience pain and suffering it is less painful when so many of your peers and colleagues experience the same eventual end. What makes the act of divorce even more watered down is that many families in the West are composed of single parent unmarried women and their children.
Husband-less mothers are no longer an issue of the poor, it is an epidemic of great proportion that penetrates ethnic, geographic and economic circumstances. There have been reports over the past two years with statistically significant findings on a study that is particularly difficult because census must follow the family for a significant number of years in order to secure accurate numbers.
"Recent US scholarship based on such longterm tracking, reported for example in the New York Times on April 19, 2005, has found that about 60 percent of all marriages that result in divorce do so in the first decade, and more than 80 percent do so within the first 20 years; that the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in the United States at about 41 percent around 1980 and has been slowly declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31 percent; and that while in the 1960s and 1970s there was little difference among socioeconomic groups in divorce rates, diverging trends appeared starting around 1980 (e.g. the rate of divorce among college graduates had by 2002 dropped to near 20 percent, roughly half that of non-college graduates)" (Wikepedia, Divorce).
Islam offers Al-Sha'ria and Fiqh which if practiced correctly give clear guidance to marriage and contractual agreements in general. Islam suggests that Men generaly are more responsible for nushooz and the result of nushooz in their home, and I believe this is true. There are clear rights of Men and Women in marriage and each partner should be aware of their rights, if they agree to marriage and follow Sunnah.