The Beggar

I was looking through some of my journal pages today and I came across one of my better poems. Although, I really don’t consider it “poetry”, merely an attempt at poetry. It was written in January of 2003, during a very troublesome period in my life. Reading it brought back so many memories, memories of despair, untamed emotions and heedlessness that I shudder at the thought of it on public display. But alhamdulillah, perhaps it will be of benefit for someone? I know that for me, it was beneficial to find as it was a reminder of where I was and what I’ve been through; who I was and what I’ve become, shukr alhamdulillah ya rabbi (Thank you Lord).

The Beggar

All of my life I have sought to be alone
I’ve dreamed of being a king,
With privileges at my command
To come and go as I like,
No obstacles to face;
Only my own dreams to chase,
Lost in my own ambitions
with no one else’s worries to waste my time
A life with only my own tears to wipe;
A life where there is only my own strife to comfort
Only my heart to put at ease;
Only my own life to guide and please
When I look at myself now,
I see a lowly beggar,
Begging for love,
Or a meal to share
Instead of basking in my wealth,
I’m happier with poverty to share
I’m the shell of the man
I’d longed to become
And now my needs are met
Through other’s satisfaction,
A lonely beggar, calling out for company
Desires turned to dreams
And those dreams could not endure life’s reality
The search for Love has robbed me of my princely riches,
And now I lay broken while felt patches,
Hold me together,
Sewn with straw stitches.

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