Proper Greetings in Islam
September 25, 2007 by Saifuddin
I have on occasion come across Muslims who are sincere but ignorant of some of the finer points of Islamic lifestyle according to the traditions of the Holy Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him). This however, is easy to do in this day and age where there are so many forgotten traditions of the Holy Prophet which if we saw today we may think they are some strange bidat! One of these forgotten traditions is one of the most basic and fundamental elements of our dear religion, the Islamic greeting. The Islamic greeting, as-salaamu ‘alaikum; God’s Peace be upon you, is an element of good Islamic manners. In the proper conduct of greetings one may find keys to good social behavior and the proprieties of friendship and exchanges in Islamic framings. God says in the Qur’an (BismillaharRahmanirRahim),
“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet with better than it or return it. Allah takes count of all things”. (004:086)
So clearly it is preferred to return a greeting by adding to it. But there have been so many times where I have greeted a Muslim and received no greeting at all! And perhaps times where a Muslim has greeted me and received only an equal greeting in return, or worse. These days we greet people we know, and only people we know. When we receive a greeting from someone we don’t know we are silent looking oddly as if someone has violated an unwritten code of ethics. But this unwritten code of ethics is un-Islamic by nature and egoistic at best.
One aspect of our Islamic greeting would puzzle me when I first began studying the Arabic language and that was, the fact that we salute a single individual in the the plural saying, as-salaamu ‘alaikum, ‘alaikum implying “upon you all”. This plural pronoun was also used in response. Al-A’mash, Ibrahim an-Nakha’i discussed this item saying,
“When you salute a single individual, you must say: as-salaamu ‘alaikum [using the pronoun -kum], for the angels are with him.”
It should be interesting to note that our greeting, seemingly of a simple nature, holds many keys within it. And like other keys or secrets, there are protocols upon their use. For example a hadith, tradition of the Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him), reported in the Sahih of Muslim as narrated by Abu Huraira (may Allah be well pleased with him) says that according to God’s Messenger (may Peace and Blessings be upon him),
“The rider should salute the walker, the walker the sitter, and the few the many.”
Shaikh Ahmad Fathu’llah Jami’s Sifat al-Mu’minin (The Attributes of the Believers) gives a clear and concise commentary on this hadith explaining that,
“He began mentioning the rider, because of his elevated rank, and because pride might otherwise deter him from being the first to salute. The same principle was then applied to the walker [in relation to the sitter]. It has also been said: “Since the sitter is in the state of dignity, calm and composure, he is entitled to that prerogative [of being saluted], rather that the walker, whose state is the opposite.” As for the salutation offered by the few to the many, it is a mark of respect for the majority of Muslims. As recorded by al-Bukhari, this Prophetic tradition includes the addition words:
“The younger should salute the adult.”
Another custom of the Holy Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him) is shaking hands while offering salaams. This custom in particular, you will find upon meeting me that I have a fondness for, perhaps to a fault. Today, we must ask ourselves, how much of this, seemingly simple custom are we following? And if we are not what have we adopted in its place? Especially when there is blessing and reward for us in these simple customs. For instance concerning the shaking of hands, the Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him) says,
“When two Muslims shake hands, their sins fall to the ground, as leaves of the tree fall to the ground.”
MashaAllah! And we pass the opportunity to rid ourselves of sins on a daily basis. Yes, mashaAllah to us! There are so many customs for greetings that are lost. But those that we have we should try our best to apply and to raise our children with, to train our children to exercise so that they can benefit from them for generations and not lose these gems, these salutations of the Prophet in later generations. Some of these customs I had never seen in regular life until I attended regular association with a shaykh. Some of which have happened more recently, these customs include:
- When entering an empty house, you must offer the salutation of peace.
- You are saluting yourself on Allah’s behalf.
- You are saluting the believing jinn who occupy the house.
- Through the blessings of peace, you are seeking safety from the devils and harmful influences present in the house.
- Custom requires the person who initiates the salutation to be in a state of ritual purity (wudu’) as well as the respondent.
- When two people meet, custom requires them to try and forestall each other in offering the salutation, as a demonstration of humility.
Seeing Shaykh Effendi, Abdul-Kerim following these simple customs very closely, and witnessing its profound effects on people Muslim and non-Muslim is inspiring which is one of the reason I wrote this post. The other reason is as a reminder, a reminder for you and for me to give salaams to our fellow Believers and shake hands as a means to attain purity.
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AssalamuAlaikum Saifuddin,
May Allah truly bless you for such a nice powerful reminder.
One of the nice things about being in Saudi is that everyone understands the saying of the Prophet (”Spread the Salaam”
and so people are always giving salaams, whether you know them or not.
Again, thank you for the post.
(I know its not the best adab, but in the virtual world I’m too used to simply abbreviating the salaams as AA-. But worry not, in real life I say it completely. LOL!)
[...] A quick brush-up with ethics of greetings- One aspect of our Islamic greeting would puzzle me when I first began studying the Arabic language and that was, the fact that we salute a single individual in the the plural saying, as-salaamu ‘alaikum, ‘alaikum implying “upon you all”. Powered by Gregarious (21) [...]
“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet with better than it or return it. Allah takes count of all things”. (004:086)
the concept was explained in another verse.
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
wa ‘alaikum as-salaam, All.
Indeed, that is a blessing brnaeem. And there is no “thanks” necessary for this post, it was as much for me as anyone else.
It would be nice to have some guidance for those non-Muslims who want to promote cordial relations with Muslim people everywhere. There are of course millions of such people of good will everywhere.
While many people have a general sense of greetings in many cultures and will even risk making a mistake, in the case of greeting Muslims we often are concerned about getting it wrong and offending when we mean to please.
as-salaamu ‘alaikum
D
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
wa ‘alaikum as-salaam Donnacha! Welcome, and thank you for visiting, I pray you will be commenting regularly. You wrote,
I am feeling more and more strange each day at offering my thoughts and advice over the internet but what I can say with some assurance is to ‘just be yourself’. If you are sincerely looking to promote cordial relations with Muslims or anyone else for that matter, the opportunity will find you. Likewise, the opposite is true. Smiling is a universal language and a sincere smile makes people feel good.
Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of God be upon him, is reported to have said:
Whereupon he was asked,
To which he, may the peace and blessings of God be upon him, replied:
And he added,
This, I think, is good advice concerning the goodness of the human heart. It is a reminder to the strengthening of bonds and affections of people with each other, both Muslims and those ‘millions of people of good will’ that you mentioned.
-Saifuddin
Thanks for this Saifuddin. No need to feel strange. We all have a duty to promote understanding. A great Christian said, “Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.” So it’s good to be doing something.
Which book do these quotations come from?
insha allah
i a keen interest in Islam and contemplating to convert but my weakness is that i like and eat pork a lot and have an eye for woman,how do i do away with this things i have just mentioned
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
as-salaamu ‘alaikum Mohurtshe Moile! It is good to here that you are thinking of Islam. The pork and woman issue is not as important as taking the first step and finding safety from harm. My suggestion is to make a sincere intention to make the shahadat, taking the first step is the most important part. Worry about the second and third, etc. after you’ve made the first.
My suggestion is to follow someone, someone who is walking in the way of the Holy Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him), his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them), the Successors and the Saints (may Allah keep their secrets).
I can certainly help you to find support in this venture, email me privately and we can discuss things further (saifuddin at gmail dotcom). You may also want to join the Osmanli Naksibendi Yahoo Group, it is a group of Muslims that you will be able to ask a number of questions and find support.
-Saifuddin
A point could be made that many “greetings” are just mouthings of phrases planned to gain one’s attention and lead to some purpose other than a true greeting. That would have a lot to do with the lack of response.
In America, the old concept of greetings and hospitality of all but vanished. Few understand the import of the phrase “breaking bread with someone” or the import originally placed on a greeting and blessing.
Good day to all,
I am a Christian European/Canadian and my husband is Buddhist Thai/American. I would like to know when we enter a business or establishment and know the merchants are Muslim, is it proper to greet them with as-salaamu ‘alaikum? We believe in the respect of all men and women and cultures equally, and are always willing and open to learn about other cultures.
Also, what book (s) would be the easiet to read to learn about the Muslim culture and religion. I have many Muslim friends back home in Canada, but we don’t really discuss religion. Could someone please point me in the right direction.
I hope these are not ignorant questions, and that I have no offended anybody. If I have, I do apologize.
Thank you, and have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Jennifer
I wouldn’t do so in the west - but only because speaking Arabic in the US to a merchant seems too contrived and formulaic to me. I prefer to use the English translation, “peace be upon you.”
Saifuddin could give a better social perspective.
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
salam alaykum Jennifer. Yes! Say Salam Alaykum! Very Good, if it is coming to your heart to say… say. If you are confused about it, leave it for now. Thank you for commenting, please come again, your comments are welcome.
-Saifuddin
as-salaamu ‘alaikum Saifuddin and thank you!
Yes, knowing the merchants I deal with are Muslim, I prefer to give them the respect they deserve and greet them from the heart the way I would anyone else. I am fluent in French and Italian also, and I know greetings in multiple languages. I think it is polite and shows respect to greet someone in their native tongue; they appreciate the gesture. I do not know Thai, but I greet my husbands family with a bow and sawatdee ka, which is respectful. If more people were respectful of others and their cultures, the world would be a better place.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Assalamualaikum
r there more greetings than that i wanted to know wat if i say Adaab??????????
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
wa alaykum asalaam. I am no expert on the Arabic language but to my knowledge, adaab is merely referring to manners it is not ordinarily used as a greeting.
It’s not Arabic - exactly - this time. It’s Urdu (Pakistani)! Adaab is used as “Good Morning” is Urdu.
Hi jennifer
If you want to know about islam, read the Quran or buy one, it is the best book you can get on islam and you will understand how muslims think, eat, walk and even do business, everything!!. It will have the answers to what the purpose of creation is, what will happen after death, in heaven, hell, the many stories of the prophets mentioned in the bible too, incl Adam, Abraham, Joseph, Jesus etc.
To be honest you will not have read a book like it - ive read the bible - KJV twice, torah, guru granth sahib, vidas you name it and ive read it but the Quran is in a league of its own!. Infact i coould just about guarantee your life will never be the same.
Happy reading :).