Comments on: Can We Raise ‘Good Muslim’ Children in the West?

By: magey

magey — Sat, 31 May 2008 05:06:30 +0000

well i am not a parent but a kid. i was born and raised in a muslim country. i moved to a western country when i was sixteen and started my senior years of high school there. I must say it is not easy if you continue to practice being a good muslim. But i sometimes see muslim kids integrate with the local kids and loose their faith. I guess it’s easy for them. every teenager tries to fit in. But for me fitting in meant giving up some of my beliefs. But insha’allah i kept my faith. i don’t think i will be able to fit in here. there are almost no muslim students at my school. only 1 or 2. for me home was better for being a muslim.

By: sami

sami — Tue, 27 May 2008 00:33:19 +0000

assalamu alaikum
i was reading this blog or whatever its called and its very true..im not a parent.in fact im only 13 and i realize we need to know more about islam and the parents need to help make islam fun if not at least something exciting for us to learn..my parent i think did a pretty good job with my siblings we go to masjids to pray, halaqahs, and those things that really make u think about Islam really deep in your heart..then u kind of feel super religious that one day and then the next day is out to the usual video games and stuff..u know i reallly wanna stop play video game and sports ..but i dont know how to quit video games.i know its jsut a waste of time..my parents only let me play after i do my homework and read quran but i still think its a waste of time…..all i want to know is how i can keep this pious feeling to do good from the lectures?

i dont know if u noticed my writing is confusing is bad ima A student but i really bad at writing lol..i think it has something to do with my keyboard lol jk

By: Hakim

Hakim — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 01:14:59 +0000

as-salaamu ‘alaikum sister,

I will respond to this by email and post a brief summary of our discussion.

By: sr nichole

sr nichole — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:01:02 +0000

As’salam alikum (Peace be upon you),
I feel rather silly, but alas…what suggestions do you have for a muslim parent that lives in a small community (of non muslims with no muslim resources) for economic reasons. I am a revert to Islam and have no family other that my husband and daughter (of eight) to lend support here, and sadly I don’t have excessive support even from there :(. We have had financial difficulties in a large muslim based community, but I feel so isolated. I know it is all part of the test from Allah (swt) or God, but every article I read says establish muslim youth groups, visit masjid, visit muslim families….etc.~I cannot do this. I have been to several websites concerning different issue (about parenting and marriage) and asked others for good resources, but to no avail. I am trying to integrate here and figure ways to make people aware of Islam, and I pray about this often. Any suggestions would be appreciated^^

By: Sakeena

Sakeena — Sat, 19 May 2007 22:52:09 +0000

salam alaykum all,

This is an awesome question and i have found that many women in my community have found some very creative solutions with great results. Many of the sisters in my community who have small children homeschool them. This way they can be sure that the kids are properly socialized and receive a top of the line education. In fact what they do is they create a sort of co-op where three or more families will work together so the kids get a chance to interact and they can pull on all of their collective strengths to give the kids a great foundation. In later years, high school or there abouts, some choose to send their kids to public school so that they can get into colleges with less difficulty. Others do it the other way around but with less success.

The number one hint for effectiveness i have found is modelling, modelling, modell. Kids really do what you do and not what you say. If you put Allah subhana wa ta’allah first in a very natural and organic way they will too. If you try to get preachy or judgemental as a way of re-enforcing islamic values they will smell a rat and disregard you as a preachy jerk. You can’t protect them from the pervading society so don’t try. Rather make sure they have as many examples of good muslims around them at all times as possible. that means we mommies have to get social as well so that our little girls see great examples of muslim womanhood. And dads are gonna have to get in there too.

in my old community we had a muslim family meeting every other week. All the muslim families would get together to talk and learn and pray together. It really helped us out as parents and several marriages resulted from it.

Of course these are all ideas coming from converts. I don’t know why immigigrant families are not more active like this but i am sure its a cultural divide that can be crossed with time. But my point is that yes we can raise great muslm kids here in the west with a whole lot of prayer and a little bit of creativity.

By: sarah

sarah — Sat, 12 May 2007 10:15:41 +0000

I think all of you guys are wrong if your children want to learn and study isam then it is up to them and don’t worry about them not marrying a non-muslim if they chose not to then let them. And you may ask who am I to say such things well i am saudi and you may have parbuly gussed that saudi Arabia is home to meka and the counrty is based on the reiligon isam. So you if relly want to know if your children will grow up as good little children then you well see when they get older. And islam isn’t about pushing your childern into it its about what they want to do.

By: Mum+psychologist

Mum+psychologist — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 22:59:26 +0000

Secrets to raising good Muslim kids?

1- No T.V
2- Quran - for parents FIRST thus our kids
3- Dua for all
4 - Consider home-schooling seriously

No TV and no school = parents take the responsibilty of raising their children rather than taking the ‘easy’ option and leaving it to the TV or school

By: Andleeb

Andleeb — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 10:40:55 +0000

as salamu alaikum,

I would like to share that i am living in sydney, australia.
Maash allah we have heaps of islamic schools teaching islamic values and traditions. Best of all i have got satellite tv where my children can learn all about Islam.
I have lived in USA. I think its high time now when our children should learn all about islam so that they can differentiate between right and wrong. Also we shoud make more visits to our home countries for the awareness of the culture.
People in australia are more family oriented and less materialistic and selfish. At least i am one. so i am thankful to Allah for sending me to such a beautiful country. My children now their mother tongue i.e urdu as well as arabic and english. My home is close to the mosque so they are learning QURAN as well.
May Allah make easy ways for people living in the west and he guides all of us to the right path. ameen.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 01:57:20 +0000

I am a non-muslim married to a muslim. My husband recently told our daughter that if she did not start praying at age ten, then she would be hit. He says that this is customary.Is this the case? It seems wrong. She has never been required to practice any par of the religion before. What is the significance of age ten and where in th Quran is this law? I would appreciate any anwers to explain.

By: Umm Layth

Umm Layth — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 12:26:48 +0000

as-Salaamu `alaykum

Insha’Allaah this finds everyone in good health & Iman.

One of the biggest concerns for me is that my son is being raised upon Islaam, without a choice. I mean, for me, the decision was my own - as I am a revert. But for him, it is not and when I look around to families who reverted but whose children were raised upon Islaam, I find a huge lack of appreciation for Islaam. So it scares me.

I must say that one thing that I am very anti - is putting our children in public schools. I was raised in America, a non-Muslimah and I attended public school since 1st grade. This was back in the 90’s when I was in elementary but I remember that even then there was so much stupidity amongst these young kids and as you hit higher grades it only got worse.

My parents who are Catholic, may Allaah guide them, aameen - did try very hard to instill good morals in me and constantly reminded me to be the better one in school. I was the quiet one, the one who always knew when something was wrong and what not. But there came times in my life where peer pressure really bothered me. I tried my hardest to fight it, but it is hard when you are around the same people so many hours a day, 5 days a week, year after year.

Having experienced middle school and high school and having accepted Islaam during my 9th grade year and seeing how hard it was to stay away from all the evil (and believe me, I tried very hard) - I realized that I had to remove myself from that environment and so I decided to study at home via a charter school for the rest of the time. It was really after I accepted Islaam in that 9th grade year, that I knew I would never place my children in such an environment.

And I think that is a main problem with a lot of parents. I mean we can think that our children are going to be strong and that they will remember Allaah - but peer pressure is real and the loss of self-identity is real. That isn’t to say that there aren’t kids who survive all the immorality but it is difficult.

I know that after I accepted Islaam, I met sisters who became religious in public school because of the filth they see and by Allaah it is wonderful to know that they were able to beat such evil but unfortunately, and we all know this - it isn’t the case with the majority. So, I believe that as parents we need to really look at things realistically.

We want our kids to be around the best of people, as Rasulullaah (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) reminded us constantly - so we should make sure that their environments are those which will bring about good socialization and constant remembrance of Allaah. Parents need to find the best means to provide for their kids - good friends and good mentors, who are Muslim and who are deening.

Parents need to become more involved in their children’s lives and work to find alternatives to what is common but harmful.

By: Mona UmIbrahim

Mona UmIbrahim — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 21:15:24 +0000

See this post: http://theimamsdaughter.myminaret.com/2006/03/22/growing-up-muslim-in-the-us/
Quick summary:
What helped me keep my Islamic identity while growing up in this country was:

1 - Living next to the Masjid
2 - Attending Sunday School
3 - Getting involved in the Masjid Youth Group
4 - Summers spent in Lebanon every couple of years